If you’ve been dating long enough you’ve probably been dumped or been the dumper, so you know how hard it is to be either one. Personally I think breaking up with someone is worse than being dumped. There are ways to bow out gracefully and there are ways that you should just never attempt if you want to keep your dating karma intact. Here we got with 5 Angel ways and 5 Devil Ways. Which one will you be?
THE ANGEL WAY
1. Be Honest
Try and always be honest when you are ending anything, from a short term relationship to a doctors appointment. As soon as you feel things are just not adding up and you don’t really see them playing white elephant at your Christmas party, tell them. Let them know you are sorry but you are just not feeling what you expected to be feeling by now.
2. It’s not you, it’s Me.
What a cliché! But seriously this happens, you are dating someone fabulous. They are attractive, smart, fun to be around, good in bed, they get along with everyone but for some reason your schedule has changed, you are very busy or you just don’t have the time or energy to make it work so technically it really is YOU.
3. In Person
If you have been seeing this person for more than a month, and ESPECIALLY if you are intimate you must call things off in person. Don’t be scared just meet in a public place. You are less likely to be kicked in the groin or called names at Coffee Bean.
4. You aren’t ready for something serious
You’ve joined some dating sites, you’ve met friends of friends, you’ve flirted at the gym but now you’ve also been on 5 dates with someone who is trying to lock you down for weekend plans and holidays but you just aren’t there yet. Chances are if they like you this won’t fly but let them know you would love to keep seeing them and enjoy their company but you aren’t quite ready to be exclusive. Maybe you can see where it goes but be up front.
Not my favorite because it definitely stings when you realize it’s happening but in the beginning stages, let’s say a handful of dates or a few hook ups (don’t hate me) it’s ok to slowly and politely communicate less which eventually leads to no calls, texts or pokes on Facebook.
THE DEVIL WAY
1. Make out with their friend
Yup this pretty much means you won’t be seeing or hearing from your date again. Also probably will lead to some ugly texts and possibly being blocked by everyone in said circle. Proceed with caution.
One day you are sharing a great meal, the week before you saw a movie and the week before that a few dinners and happy hour. Today you are invisible, I’m talking you’ve erased all form of communication and avoid them. I am sure this “technique” has worked for some but there is the chance of the run in, expect dirty looks, slapping or possible tears.
3. eMail, Text or Facebook Dump
Also known as the “chicken shit breakup”. Enough Said.
4. Tell a Friend
This is when instead of telling the person to their face that you no longer wish to see them, you let their friend or co-worker know “you two are no longer seeing each other”. Real smooth.
5. The Band-Aid
Quick and almost painless, a little brutal but just quick call or burst that says “Its over”. Usually you don’t leave the person with an explanation just a quick way to get out. Maybe you have a flight to catch maybe you have a paper due.
I really believe most of you readers are the upper 5 types but if not…just remember “do onto others” because if you know what it feels like you probably won’t do it to someone else. And most importantly, you will be okay!